Remember 2023? The year we were promised flying cars and robot butlers? Instead, we got…this. A glorified VR headset that projects your Netflix onto your retinas while simultaneously turning you into a walking advertisement. But hey, at least it blocks out the existential dread, right?
Now, don’t get me wrong, the tech is impressive. It’s like strapping a miniature supercomputer to your face. Problem is, that supercomputer can’t tell the difference between a masterpiece and a meme. Your carefully curated Instagram feed? Now a 3D assault on your eyeballs. Your grandma’s cat video? Prepare for a full-sensory immersion into feline derpitude.
But the real kicker? The marketing. They’re selling this thing like it’s the key to unlocking Shangri-La. Metaverse meetings? More like meta-vomiting after staring at your boss’s avatar in pixelated glory. Collaborative 3D painting? More like watching your neighbor digitally finger-paint a stick figure while judging your every stroke.
DMT 